What determines the nature of our kids obsessions?
Big question.
Whatever our kids pursue to feel belonging and significance—will become their obsession.
If they pursue beauty ideals to feel belonging and significance—they will be ruled by and obsessed with how they look.
If they pursue money or “success” to feel belonging and significance—they will be ruled by and obsessed with work and the accumulation of financial status.
If they pursue approval or external praise to feel belonging and significance—they will be ruled by and obsessed with the judgement and acceptance of others.
Our kids (and all human beings) obsessions are run by whatever method they use to feel a sense of importance, and connection. As such, we must be careful about how we encourage our kids to value themselves.
Do we slather them in praise, sending the message that pleasing us and others is important?
Do we tell them they are gorgeous and beautiful, sending the message that ‘looking good’ is deeply important?
Do we give them rewards or money or ‘gifts’ to elicit good behaviour and obedience, sending the message that we don’t believe they can be internally motivated?
If you do any of the above, you’re not alone. These are all common, dime a dozen, parenting tools.
If you’d ready to learn parenting tools that turn all those around, so your child believes…
- Feeling proud of themselves is more important than pleasing someone else,
- Doing a task to the best of their ability is satisfaction in and of itself,
- Looking good is nice, but not as important as how we feel about ourselves on the inside.
And…
Those parenting tools lead to conversations where your kids listen and contribute,
Those tools lead to your child self managing rather than you monitoring, overseeing and managing them,
Plus, more calm and fun in the house?
Then, I hope you’ll check out the new Raising Body Confident Kids online course.
Emma x
PS. For a deeper dive into the science behind why teaching kids to trust their unique bodies works out better for them in the long run, check out this 25 min podcast interview with Evelyn Tribole.
Like what you’ve just read? Sign up below for the free 10 Principles of Raising Body Confident Kids PDF, plus weekly-ish coaching emails.
